The catalyst for my latest book, "On the Line", wasn’t actually to pen a new book but to add a section on top rope soloing (TRS) to the third edition of "Me, Myself & I". That the project folder for the updated "Me, Myself & I" is labelled ‘MM&I 2021’ suggests that things didn't go as planned. As I’ve previously noted, the deeper I delved into TRS, the more material I found, but often what emerged didn't dovetail with lead rope soloing. So, I decided I'd whip up a brief book solely on TRS and then proceed to finalise "Me, Myself & I", free from the complexities of TRS. Yet, three years on, I've accomplished neither!
Another motivation behind "On the Line" was the burgeoning interest in TRS. Perhaps this shift is indicative of our self-service age; similarly, lead rope soloing has seen an uptick in interest.
A decade ago when I wrote "Me, Myself & I", there was a paucity of information on the subject, save for some rudimentary sketches on Mountain Project. "Me, Myself & I" served dual purposes: to consolidate my knowledge and to gauge the viability of crowdfunding niche climbing books.
However, while "On the Line" is nearing completion, I believe it’s inadvisable for "Me, Myself & I" to languish another three years awaiting an update.
Since penning "Me, Myself & I", I've undertaken two more El Cap solos (Sea of Dreams and South Seas), as well as a slew of regular ascents, which means there’s an abundance to append. The most significant pivot, however, has been Rock Exotica’s choice to cease production of the Silent Partner, Soloist, and Soloaid, which were pivotal to the book's technical toolkit section.
Post-publication, the dialogue (and unfortunately, misinformation) surrounding rope soloing has proliferated, with dedicated YouTube channels and Facebook groups delving deep. Renowned climbers like Pete Whiticker, Keita Kurakami, and Fabian Buhl have also showcased that rope soloing isn’t merely the domain of the solitary, quarry-bound enthusiasts.
Instead of tackling the third edition of "Me, Myself & I" as a monolithic task, I've opted to emulate Stephen King and release it in segments to my paid subscribers.
The goal is not only to refresh the content but to align its aesthetics with my two recent publications – introducing a wealth of diagrams, diving deeper into details, and significantly reducing typographical errors.
Furthermore, the collective scrutiny and ensuing queries from my readers will, I believe, enhance the final product.
Me, Myself & I
The dark arts of big wall soloing
© Andy Kirkpatrick 2023
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any m electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
WARNING
Climbing is dangerous
Enthusiasm is no substitute for knowledge and experience
This manual is designed to give climbers the skills necessary to stay safe, but rock climbing and mountaineering are inherently perilous. Therefore, this manual is intended for experienced rock climbers and mountaineers only. No one should attempt climbing without proper training or equipment, and each individual must assume personal responsibility for learning the appropriate techniques and exercising good judgment. I strongly recommend that every climber seek instruction from a qualified professional if they are uncertain about any aspect of this manual.
By using the information contained within this manual, you acknowledge that the information therein may be out of date or inaccurate. You agree that the author cannot be held liable for any damage that may be caused by the use of this manual.
This book provides helpful information on the subjects covered, including climbing, abseiling, and anchors. It is specifically designed for individuals actively participating in rock climbing.
All information in this book, including text, graphics, images, exercises, techniques, and references to third-party material, is for informational and educational purposes only. The author and publisher of this book shall have no liability or responsibility to any reader or third party for any injury or damage incurred from the use of the information provided in this book.
2nd Warning
Don’t bloody kill yourself!
While I wouldn't be thrilled if you twisted an ankle inspired by this book and came looking for compensation (or worse, if your next of kin did), my primary concern is ensuring you don't endanger yourself due to its contents.
Honestly, it might be best for both of us if you put down this book and erase those fantastical solo heroics from your thoughts. Maybe treat this book like a US army technical manual on dismantling Afghan roadside improvised explosive devices: an intriguing read for the intellectually curious, but without any practical application.
If you've already purchased this book, perhaps you should let it gather dust on a high shelf. One day, in your twilight years, you might stumble upon it, recounting to your great-grandchildren how you once dreamt of soloing El Cap. When little Timmy or Tammy inquires, "Did you solo El Cap, great-granddad?" you can simply respond, "No".
What legal disclaimers often don't cover is that death is merely one potential outcome. Treading the solo path could lead to situations where death might seem like the preferable option. I’ve met individuals who chose soloing and ended up incapacitated, needing care for life. Sure, if you meet a tragic end while soloing, you might be memorialised with heartfelt eulogies and tributes, but your memory will be fleeting. What if you're left with a life half-lived?
Soloing, whether free or with a rope, isn't a matter of life or death; it’s life and death, repeatedly.
To be brutally candid, if you're purchasing a book on how to rope solo, dreaming of big wall adventures, you might be barking up the wrong tree. The real soloists out there typically don’t turn to guides like this; they just get on with it. This book, in all likelihood, caters to the Walter Mittys of the world – the daydreamers whose ambitions falter at the prospect of commitment.
If you’re considering this book, that might be a sign that soloing isn’t for you. Perhaps it's time to reshelve it.
…if you’re still here, then carry on.
*Note: If you're perusing a pirated copy of this book, I owe you no duty of care or concern. Proceed at your own risk and solo to your heart's content.
Acknowledgements
Many of the techniques I write about in this book originated from either figuring them out myself or piecing together small clues from books and conversations. Others were learnt from the masters of soloing and big walls, who generously imparted their wisdom. These include Pete “Pass the Pitons” Zabrok, Mark Hudon, John Middendorf, Royal Robbins, and Eric Sloan. Then there are the countless individuals I chatted with in places like the Lodge Cafeteria, the Camp 4 car park, and cosy bars in Chamonix, always eager for advice, which was readily given.
Additionally, there are those who simply inspire with their remarkable capacity to push both physical and mental boundaries, including Sílvia Vidal, Steve Schneider, Jim Beyer, Takeyasu Minamiura, Go Abe, Lionel Daudet, Keita Kurakami, Robert Steiner, Mike Libecki, Charlie Porter, Fabian Buhl, Ed Drummond, Pete Whittaker, Steve Bate, Dave Turner, Yann Camus, Eric Kohl - and many, many more!
I must also express immense gratitude to the incredible Menna Pritchard for ensuring I saw this project through to its end. Though she remains a big wall novice, she possesses the heart and tenacity of a seasoned big wall soloist. Lastly, I want to thank everyone who assisted me in organising my thoughts and words, especially Aimée Feenan and Steve Murphy. Without all of you, this would have been far less coherent!
Forward
Solitude. That profound companion we sometimes seek, and at other times evade, dictated by the moment and our needs.
Solitude. A loyal friend, yet a merciless foe. She supports you, stays by your side, engulfs you. Yet, she can also isolate, condemn, and ostracise you.
There exist two types of loneliness: the 'good' and the 'bad'. We pursue the 'good' loneliness willingly. The 'bad' catches us off guard. To be alone or to feel alone; that is the quandary.
Initiating a discussion about solo climbing experiences, I'm initially confronted with an immense void. A void filled with hollow words and contrived phrases. Familiar notions like solitude, motivation, decision-making, confronting doubts, responsibilities, and fears recur...
But almost instantly, this void begins to brim with experiences, emotions, aspirations, sensations, and anecdotes – merely anecdotes. Yet, they facilitate the narration of a tale, your tale. Intimate and unique, akin to the solo climb, much like life itself.
Typically, I'd compose in front of a computer, where words flow with varying degrees of fluency. However, to capture the essence of solo climbing, I've resorted to pen and paper. Now, in the early hours, it dawns on me that I'm consumed by the profound implications of solo ascents.
But in this state, teetering between drowsiness and enveloped by silence, I find the words.
Reacquainting myself with silence, I'm reminded that without it, I'm bereft of listening. I tune into the river, the glacier, the gusts, tumbling rocks... and sense the mind journeying, steered by that silence, to distant locales echoing with it.
After some time, it strikes you – you aren't merely writing. With pen in hand, you're smiling... feeling the chill of extreme climates and the burden of the haul bag. Recollections of dialogues with it emerge: the crimson one, horned and tailed. You recall its skirmish with the other: the pristine one, haloed and winged. Pleading for them to silence their disputes, amidst their cacophony, the realisation dawns that you needed that silence to truly fathom your yearning to be there. Solitary.
A bond with every memory is felt, pulling you back to the present, yet the connection lingers. It becomes apparent that this connection was among the gifts you carried. A gift that's both a boon and a hazard, for the allure of that game beckons – a game far from innocuous, yet undeniably enriching and rewarding.
Such is the essence of a solo climb: dream first, act subsequently, and persist in dreaming; so that later, you can divulge all that you've witnessed and experienced, conveying that the silence of those walls narrates tales... your tale.
Sílvia Vidal